Happy Birthday

"Happy Birthday to you...Happy Birthday to you."

The all time favourite birthday song is in the air again, the third time this year in my family. We sing the song in celebration of my youngest daughter birthday. She turns 1. She is slightly smaller than her two elder siblings. Not as chubby as the other two but nevertheless cute, strong, active and very close to her mother.

Comparisons I make with Arissa's and her two siblings; Amir and Fatin:

- Arissa starts to walk at an early age, much earlier than the two

- She is more active than the two

- She starts to baby talk (a lot) at the same time she starts to walk

- She is a handful, you cannot let her out of your sight as she would crawl/walk towards the coffe table or the TV cabinet, climbs and sits on them

- She cries before going to sleep, most of the time unlike her two siblings

- She cries out loud all of a sudden for her milk, you can suddenly go panic upon hearing this especially when you are doing some work. You will drop everything and get to her thinking that she fell down or bitten by a bug but in actual case she wants her milk. I am still figuring this out.

Cerita Sembahyang...

Di sebuah kampung ada 3 orang remaja yang suka lepak. Seorang tu nama dia Ali, seorang tu Budin dan seorang lagi Ciko. Aktiviti seharian depa ni menyebabkan tok imam tak senang duduk. Pada satu hari tok imam tu datang dgn niat nak tarbiyah depa ni. Maka berlakulah beberapa insiden cabar-mencabar. Tok imam tu cabar si mangkuk 3 ekor tu ke surau waktu Maghrib nanti. Si Ali pun berkata, "Tok imam ingat kami ni jahil sangat ke? Takpa, nanti kami buktikan yg kami bukan la jahil sgt seperti yg disangkakan".

Maka apabila hampir masuk waktu Maghrib pegilah malaun 3 ekor tu ke surau. Tok imam pun suruh Ali azan. Tanpa berlengah terus je Ali azan, "Allah Ta'ala... Allah Ta'ala..." Dgn segera tok imam merampas mikrofon drp Ali & menyuruh tok bilal azan semula. Terserlah kejahilan Ali.

Selepas iqamat, masa nak sembahyang tok imam pun mengangkat takbiratul ihram. Tok imam pun satu hal, angkat sekali x khusyuk, angkat 2x pun x khusyuk jgk lg.. Masuk je kali ketiga, Budin panggil tok imam. "Tok, tok duduk kat belakang, biar saya jadi imam." Tok imam pun undur le ke belakang. Budin pun angkat le takbiratul ihram. "Allahu akbar!" Maka para makmum pun ikut angkat takbiratul ihram & memulakan solat. Tiba2 je si Budin ni pusing ke belakang dan berkata, "Aa, tengok! Sekali jee tokkkk!!" lalu batallah solat Budin. Yg lain2 pun ikut berhenti sambil ketawa terbhk2.

Tok imam pun mintak pulak si Ciko jadi imam. Si Ciko pun terus ke depan jadi imam solat tersebut bermula dari takbir sampai le habis sembahyang. Siap dgn wirid2nya sekali. Punyalah respek tok imam kat si Ciko niii... Lepas solat, tok imam pun puji-memuji leee si Ciko ni... Tapi dgn bongkaknye si Ciko berkata, "He hee, itu belum ambil wuduk lagi tu. Kalau tak, lagi dassat aku semayang. He heee..." Tok imam pun terkedu & terpana...

(from an e-mail)

Some definition on Wife

David Bissonette
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Sacha Guitry
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Socrates
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Anonymous
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Dumas
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?

Sigmund Freud
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Anonymous
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

(from an e-mail)

Dasar jantan...

Amin ialah seorang pakar Matematik terkemuka di dunia dan hendak berkahwin. Tetapi dia didalam dilema kerana terpaksa memilih antara 3 wanita yang dirasanya memang yang paling sempurna untuk menjadi bakal isterinya. Maka lelaki ini membuat satu strategi dimana dia beri setiap seorang wanita tersebut dengan wang berjumlah RM10,000 dan tengok apa yang mereka akan buat dengan duit tersebut.

Wanita pertama membuat total-makeover. Dia pergi ke salon kecantikan, set rambut, buat facial-treatment. Kemudian pegi pula ke pusat perapian terperinci untuk mencantikkan lagi bodynya. Selebihnya dia belanjakan dengan membeli baju yang cantik2 dan seksi2. Dia beritahu Amin yang dia berbuat demikian kerana dia cintakan Amin dan sanggup berhabis semata2 untuk kelihatan menarik di depan mata Amin. Amin sangat kagum dan terharu.

Wanita kedua pergi shopping untuk membeli hadiah kepada Amin. Dia beli set golf club baru, handphone baru, XBOX 360, laptop Macintosh terbaru dan tak lupa juga suit-suit Calvin Klein untuk Amin. Semasa dia memberi hadiah2, wanita itu berkata kerana terlalu sayangkan Amin, dia sanggup membelanjakan semua RM10,000 tu untuk lelaki tersebut. Sekali lagi, Amin kagum dan terharu.

Wanita ketiga melaburkan separuh dari RM10,000 tu ke dalam stock market, selebihnya ke dalam ASB. Saham wanita tersebut mengena dan wanita itu menerima wang berkali ganda dari RM10,000 itu. Wanita itu kemudian pulangkan balik RM10,000 tersebut kepada Amin dan laburkan wang yang selebihnya dalam joint-account. Wanita itu memberitahu kerana terlalu cintakan dan sayangkan Amin, dia mahu bina masa depan dengan melaburkan wang yang diberi ke jalan yang betul. Dia mahu lihat mereka dan anak-anak mereka nanti hidup senang. Obviously, Amin sangat kagum dan terharu.

Amin memikirkan mana satu yang harus dipilihnya diantara ketiga-tiga wanita itu. Akhirnya Amin mengahwini wanita yang kedua kerana buah dadanya paling besar antara ketiga-tiga mereka. Dasar jantan ............. ;-)(from an e-mail)

Cerita Lawak

Citer 1

Suami : Kenapa Sayang menangis?

Isteri: Saya telah baca sebuah buku. Sad endinglah bang..

Suami : Buku apa?

Isteri: Buku bank abanglah..

Citer 2

Ader la sorang lelaki datang ke sebuah rumah untuk meminta derma. Derma untuk rumah orang-orang tua. seorang budak pun membuka pintu.

budak : derma ape bang?

lelaki : derma untuk rumah orang-orang tua. adik ada apa-apa untuk didermakan?

budak : nanti jap.saya ambilkan atuk saya.

lelaki : ?????

Citer 3

Tunang Farid, Siti, menelefonnya untuk memutuskan pertunangan mereka.

Farid : Mengapa?

Siti : Saya dah bosan ngan awak. saya dah ada teman baru. Sebelum tu awak mesti kembalikan semua gambar saya.

Farid : Ok. Tapi saya tak ingatlah yang mana satu gambar awak, Nanti awak pilihlah sendiri. Yang selebihnya kembalikan kepada saya.

Siti : Erkkkkkk.... .... Benci .........

Citer 4

3 org menaiki motor dan ditahan polis trafik. Namun pemandu motortersebut tidak berhenti. Katanya, 'Tak Muat Dah Tok, Kami dah bertiga!!!

Citer 5

Seorang Tok Batin baru membeli motorsikal Honda dan kebetulan pada jalan pulang terserempak dengan kawanya yang ingin menumpang, lalu ditumpangkan kawannya itu. Dalam perjalanan kawannya merasakan TokBatin hanya menggunakan gear 1 sahaja lalu bertanyalah kawannya itu,

Kawan Tok Batin : Kenapak kamu hanya pakai gear 1 sahaja.

Tok Batin : Kalau rosak 1 gear ada 2 lagi gear.

Kawan Tok Batin : ????????

Citer 6

Seorang posmen yang datang menghantar surat .." Assalamualaikum "

" Walaikumsalam "

" Ni rumah encik Sameon ye?

" Ya saya"

" Poning kepala saya mencari alamat rumah encik ni "

" Buat susah aje encik nie! Apsal tak pos aje?"

Citer 7

Orang Asli Dan Polis

orang asli : selamat pagi tuan

polis : selamat pagi

polis : apa hal

orang asli : saya nak buat repot tuan

polis : fasal apa tu

orang asli : kawan saya di baham harimau

polis : pukul berapa

orang asli : dia tak pukul, terkam

polis : habis?

orang asli : tak habis, tinggal kepala

Citer 8

Seorang lelaki pergi ke klinik mata. Setelah matanya diperiksa, dia bertanya: " Doktor, lepas pakai cermin mata nanti, boleh ke saya membaca macam orang lain?"

"Dah tentu, " jawab doktor.

"Oh,gembiranya. Dah lama saya buta huruf, akhirnya boleh juga saya membaca," kata lelaki itu dengan riang.

Citer 9

Sebaik sahaja mengambil tempat duduk di ruang menunggu sebuah klinik, Shan terpandang Amin sedang menangis teresak-esak. Dia segera mendekati Amin.

Shan : Kenapa menangis?

Amin : Saya datang untuk ujian darah.

Shan : Awak takut ke?

Amin : Bukan itu sebabnya. Semasa ujian darah dijalankan, mereka telah terpotong jari saya.(Mendengarkan penjelasan Amin, Shan menangis.)

Amin : Eh, kenapa pula awak menangis?

Shan : Saya datang untuk ujian air kencing...

Citer 10

Seorang atok membawa cucunya ke pejabat pos untuk menghantar surat ..Cucunya bertanya bila melihat atoknya memasukkan surat ke dalam tong berwarna merah.

"Atok buat apa tu?".

"Atok bagi surat kat kawan atok,cu!" jawap atoknya.

Cucunya bertanya lagi, "Apa bangang sangat kawan atok duduk dalam tong merah tu?"

Citer 11

Seorang pegawai polis masuk ke bilik mayat sebuah hospital untuk menyiasat punca kematian tiga lelaki sekaligus. Selepas memeriksa mayat-mayat itu, dia bertanya kepada penjaga bilik berkenaan.

Polis : Mengapa ketiga-tiga mayat tersenyum?

Penjaga : Lelaki pertama sedang bersanding, apabila tiba2 diserang strok. Lelaki kedua pula khabarnya menang loteri dan mati serangan sakit jantung manakala yg ketiga disambar petir.

Polis : Hah! Kenapa disambar petir pun tersenyum?

Penjaga : Masa tu dia ingat orang sedang ambil gambarnya... Hehehe...

(from an e-mail)

Growing Older is Mandatory. Growing Up is Optional.

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?" I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze. "Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked. She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids..." "No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age. "I always dreamed of having a college education! and now I'm getting one!" she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.We became instant friends Everyday for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At! the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet.I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jitter! y. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll n ever get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know."

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.

We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.

Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets." She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose." She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.

At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice to your friends and family, they'll really enjoy it! These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE. REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give. "Good friends are like stars... You don't always see them, but you know they are always there." (Anonymous)