Bali...

Pictures of a hotel and some tourist attraction in Bali.

The Good Husband

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door "

Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"

His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"

Broken Coffee Table $239.99

Hot Breakfast $4.20

Two Aspirins $.38

Saying the right thing, at the right time . . PRICELESS

Kita Bertanya Al Quran sudah menjawabnya

KITA BERTANYA : KENAPA AKU DIUJI?

QURAN MENJAWAB "Apakah manusia itu mengira bahawa mereka dibiarkan saja mengatakan; "Kami telah beriman," ("I am full of faith to Allah") sedangkan mereka tidak diuji? Dan sesungguhnya Kami telah menguji org2 yg sebelum mereka, maka sesungguhnya Allah mengetahui org2 yg benar dan, sesungguhnya Dia mengetahui org2 yg dusta."-Surah Al-Ankabut ayat 2-3

KITA BERTANYA : KENAPA AKU TAK DAPAT APA YG AKU IDAM-IDAMKAN?

QURAN MENJAWAB "Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi pula kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu, Allah mengetahui sedang kamu tidak mengetahui."- Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 216

KITA BERTANYA : KENAPA UJIAN SEBERAT INI?

QURAN MENJAWAB "Allah tidak membebani seseorang itu melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya."- Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 286

KITA BERTANYA : KENAPA RASA FRUST?

QURAN MENJAWAB "Jgnlah kamu bersikap lemah, dan jgnlah pula kamu bersedih hati, padahal kamulah org2 yg paling tinggi darjatnya, jika kamu org2 yg beriman." -Surah Al-Imran ayat 139

KITA BERTANYA : BAGAIMANA HARUS AKU MENGHADAPINYA?

QURAN MENJAWAB "Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Bersabarlah kamu (menghadapi segala kesukaran dalam mengerjakan perkara-perkara yang berkebajikan) , dan kuatkanlah kesabaran kamu lebih daripada kesabaran musuh, di medan perjuangan), dan bersedialah (dengan kekuatan pertahanan di daerah-daerah sempadan) serta bertaqwalah (be fearfull of Allah The Almighty) kamu kepada Allah supaya, kamu berjaya (mencapai kemenangan)."

KITA BERTANYA : BAGAIMANA HARUS AKU MENGHADAPINYA?

QURAN MENJAWAB "Dan mintalah pertolongan (kepada Allah) dengan jalan sabar dan mengerjakan sembahyang; dan sesungguhnya sembahyang itu amatlah berat kecuali kepada orang-orang yang khusyuk"- Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 45

KITA BERTANYA : APA YANG AKU DAPAT DRPD SEMUA INI?

QURAN MENJAWAB "Sesungguhnya Allah telah membeli dari org2 mu'min, diri, harta mereka dengan memberikan syurga utk mereka... ?- Surah At-Taubah ayat 111

KITA BERTANYA : KEPADA SIAPA AKU BERHARAP?

QURAN MENJAWAB "Cukuplah Allah bagiku, tidak ada Tuhan selain dari Nya. Hanya kepadaNya aku bertawakkal."- Surah At-Taubah ayat 129

KITA BERKATA : AKU TAK DAPAT TAHAN!!!

QURAN MENJAWAB "... ....dan jgnlah kamu berputus asa dr rahmat Allah. Sesungguhnya tiada berputus asa dr rahmat Allah melainkan kaum yg kafir."- Surah Yusuf ayat 12

Wife knows best

A husband is watching footie when his wife interrupts, "Honey, the hallway light has been flickering for weeks. Can you fix it?"

He angrily looks at her and says, "Fix the light? Now? Does it look like I have a G.E Logo printed on my forehead? I don't think so!"

"Well, what about the fridge door. It doesn't close right"

"Fix the Fridge Door??? Does it look like I have Westinghouse written on my forehead? I don't think so!"

"Ok", she says, "then you could at least fix the front door steps. They're about to break."

"I ain't no damn Carpenter and I don't wanna fix any steps," he says. "Does it look like I've got ACE hardware written on my forehead? I don't think so. I've had enough. I'm off to the bar!"

After a couple of hours at the local, he feels guilty and decides to go home and make up with his wife. As he walks up to the house he notice the steps are fixed. As he goes into the house he sess the hall light is working, and as he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed."

"Darling, how'd you get all this fixed?"

She replies: "Well, after you left I was sitting outside crying when a nice young man asked what was wrong. I told him, he offered to do all the repairs and all I had to do was to either bake a cake or go to bed with him."

He said, "So, what kind of cake did you bake him?"

She replied, "Helllllloooooo.......Do you see Betty Crocker written on my forehead?"

Muthu oh Muthu...

(without prejudice) Cerita dan nama hanyalah secara kebetulan.

MUTHU & THE INTERVIEWER

Interviewer : What is your birth date?

Muthu : 13th October

Interviewer : Which year?

Muthu : ... EVERY YEAR

MUTHU & HIS MANAGER

Manager asked to Muthu at an interview....Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?

Muthu replied: P-O-S-T-B-O- X

MUTHU & LONDON TRIP

After returning back from a foreign trip, Muthu asked his wife, Do I look like a foreigner?

Wife : No! Why?

Muthu : In London, a lady asked me, "Are you a foreigner?".. that's why

Wif : SHOCKED!

MUTHU & TOURIST

One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Muthu whether any great man born in this village or not .. and
Muthu said .. "No sir, only babies were born here .. "

MUTHU & HIS EXPERIMENT

Muthu was doing experiment with cockroach. First he cut its one leg and told WALK. WALK. Cockroach walked. Then he cut its second leg and told the same. Cockroach walked. Then cut the third leg and did the same. At last he cut its fourth leg and ordered it walk! But cockroach didn't walk. Suddenly Muthu said loudly, "I found it. If we cut cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf.Muthu become a saint!

MUTHU & DRIVER

When Muthu was travelling with his wife in a motorised tricycle, the driver adjusted mirror.
Muthu shouted, "You are trying to see my wife? Sit back. I will drive.

MUTHU GOES TO HOTEL

Muthu went in a hotel. To wash hands he went to the washbasin. There he started washing the basin. Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing. Muthu pointed towards the board " WASH BASIN "

MUTHU & INTERVIEWER - FINAL PART

Interviewer : Just imagine your in 20th floor in a building, it caught fire and how will you escape ?

Muthu : It's simple.. I will just stop my imagination .. :)

Oh .. i forgot . the funniest part ..

On a political rally Muthu was arrested. Why ????????????

Because, a woman journalist walking with a badge wrote "PRESS" on her right chest ... and he did it !

(from an e-mail)